Good morning! I am breaking away from my topic about the origins of pagan sunday worship for now. I decided to write about lying instead today. Specifically lying to children. This issue came up a few days ago when my child told some other children that the tooth fairy isn’t real. A classical lie parents think is ok to tell their children. The situation reminded me of one of the first ten commandments of the Bible: “Thou shalt not bare false wittness….”
Disclaimer: This article is largely my opinion and how I choose to live my life which is based on the biblical text. In no way is anyone else obligated to live their lives like this. We all have our own choices, and this one is my choice. However, it is okay if this article and biblical references conflicts anyone. It is still entirely the individuals choice to conform to the biblical way of life or not. I am sharing with the reader the trials and effects of implementing the biblical way of life, which goes against the popular norm.
The Tooth Fairy on The Playground.
It started like this. My child begged me to let him play outside on the playground with the other children. I finally gave in after the fith time asked. My child got so excited and ran out to meet the other children. I got dressed and brought my art supplies, sat on the porch and watched them play. Eventually they came to play on my front yard. Since i was distracted by my beautiful work of art, i didn’t realize that the children were having an intense conversation about teeth. All of a sudden I here “Tell them that the tooth fairy isn’t real.”
I look over and see three bubbly eyed children including my own, looking at me to see what I will say. As a super honest parent, I tell them all the truth. “No, baby, the tooth fairy isn’t real.” All of a sudden their jaws dropped except my child and the little girl asked me another question. “If the tooth fairy isn’t real who puts the money under our pillows?” I reply, “your parents put the money there.” The little boy beside her says “I don’t believe you, I’m gonna ask my mom.” The little boy and girl go and ask their parents. I thought for a moment that someone was going to cuss me out or actually admit the truth to their children.
Lying Parents
Luckely no parent came out to talk to me, but the children came back and told me that their parents said that the tooth fairy was real. Honestly I was super disaapointed in their parents for this. The children love their parents so much that they truly believed that they told them the truth and that I was the liar. Needless to say, eventually they will grow up and discover that their parents lied about the tooth fairy. After that issue settled I pulled my son aside to explain to him that people unfortunately love being lied to. Some lies make people feel good about themselves and that’s all that matters to them.
The Reasons Not To Lie.
I choose not to lie to my child for good reasons. First no one deserves to be lied to. Second, its against The Most High Gods command to lie. lastly, doing this to children potentially causes them trust issues, enables them to lie to others and they grow to love unhealthy relationships.
No one deserves to be lied to, no matter how young they are or how innocent the lie may seem. As adults, we get angry when someone lies to us about anything really. If someone lied about eating you favorite desert in the refrigerator you’d find out and be even more angry at the person than if they told you the truth. Why that person thought it was okay to eat your food and lie about it is a trespass against you.
This means that this individual can’t be trusted even with the simplest things. Now your hurt, sad and hungry all because of this trespass. This act of lying tells you that you are unworthy of the truth. Lying to people is in some ways dehumanizing a person’s worth. It sends the message that the person didn’t tell the truth doesn’t truly love you and no one deserves to feel this way.
Baring False Witness.
“Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor.” A rule expecially for Christians, baring false witness means lying, which is not good.
Proverbs 6:16-19 “
16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Lying is just one of the seven evil habits of mankind that The Most High God hates. Notice how he does not distinguish between a small or big fib. All untruthful statements are wrong and against him. Even the famous tooth fairy lie falls under this category and is a sin worthy of punishment according to the Bible. This tooth fairy lie also causes discord among brethren or the family. Not only that but the parent is causing the child to harbor wicked imaginations. It’s a shame that parents think that this is best for their children.
Proverbs 19: 9 “A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.
Effects of Lying To The Children.
If parents lie to their children even about this little “convenient lie” about the existance of the tooth fairy, that child will suffer long term psychological problems. The first issue that you will notice is that the child will have no remorse for lying to their parents as they grow up. Lying about not going to bed at a certain time, hitting someone in the face, or steeling candy from other children. As they become teenagers they will lie about doing their homework, skipping school, having sex, steeling and more. They will lie because the parents established this habit at an early age that lying is good.
In adulthood they may feel the need to lie on government tax forms, get fake ID’s, lie on work resumes. In worse case scenarios they might do illegal activities, like selling drugs and saying that it’s not a drug, creating counterfeit products, taking credit for success that isn’t theirs and all sorts of mischief. The most common issue that arises out of these popular childhood lies is engaging in unhealthy relationships. Furthermore, the parent will wonder why their daughter is with an abusive man who cheats on her. Like wise the young men will love a women who steels his money. The children grow up thinking that these behaviors are acceptable because the parent continued to this and made the child love that lie more than the truth.
My Childhood.
As for me, my parents did lie to me about the tooth fairy, and santa clause. Though they weren’t very good at keeping the lie. I caught my dad sneaking money under my pillow and my mother would ask me to help her wrap my presents lol. I guess I didn’t get the full effects of early childhood lying like other people. I think In general parents intend to make their children happy by filling their heads with pointless fantasies. A lot of my family members want to do that to my child as well. I tell them straight, in don’t condone these lies, just tell the child the truth. I write all this to hopefully deter people away from the popular custom of lying. Needless to say everyone will do what they want regardless of how I feel or what the Bible says.
My child is still extremely playful, happy, loving and now extremely honest because of it. I have no problem with him telling me the truth most of the time. I feel very fortunate about that, I don’t need to continually lie everytime he looses a tooth. It seems very stress free to just admit the truth.
Conclusion
Now of course there is redemption for those who lie without knowing that they are lying. This may mean that the individual percieved a lie as a truth. This acked is forgiven if the individual choses to accept the truth instead of the lie. Either way it all depends on the individual.
It’s not good to untruthful statements to the children just because it seems okay, innocent or convenient. The effects of lying is mentally and emotionally damaging to anyone. Especially children when they find out that their parents lied. Losing teeth is the first important milestone a child notices before puberty. It’s a precious time for them and they also trust their parents with all their heart to tell them what to do. When parents lie about this issue the child experiences a severe loss of trust, loss of respect, and a hatred of the truth.